Emergence into the Light (Выход в Свет)

Tonight, I will emerge into the light.
Return at twilight, lock the door,
Take off the doubts and fears, cast aside the silk of pain,
And wash envy away with warm and soothing stream.

Upon the white and rosy, velvet skin :w I draw the lines of charm,
Refining with wit’s pattern.
At last, I underscore the depth of thought.

In fine allurement’s cover, clad with wealth and status,
I will emerge into the light on time.
At entrance, I will whisper, once again, the rules of play.

All is set.
Greetings and compliments:

“Delightful! But where’s your greed?
Forgot at home? No place for it? How generous!
And what of poverty of mind? Of cruelty?
Ah, there they are, so well concealed, I see!”

How brilliant! You are a master of the craft.
Too bad I noticed…

Well, shall I drink a sip of poison to haze my mind?
Then free of doubts and vacillations, I will dive
Into the sea of pleasures; boundless, undefined,
Submerging into purest, most genuine forms of love and beauty.

I‘ll drown? Crash against the rocks?
I know. So what?

Why this astonishing, breathtaking body?
What for this clever mind?
To magnetize enchanted eyes,
To mislead and flatter?

No. I’d rather be oblivious once more.
Wake up at noon on winter’s day.
Prepare myself, and venture out into the light, again.
Eventually, perhaps, I’ll crash to death.

…

In entertainment passed days, months, years.
Carried by the stream of pleasures
Amidst bald and barren islands,
She finally is thrown ashore to cliffs.

Having climbed with swollen, scaling hands,
She trudges to jungle’s edge in milk-white sand.
Through tangled vines, she caught the sight of flowers, fruits,
and splendid beasts.
Among them — people radiant with joy.

Those who found themselves.
Worked, created, helped.
Unstoppable by fear or doubt, by pain or loss.
Kept moving somewhere forward, step by step.

Encontered beauty and delighted,
Until the time came to set out again.
They fell in love, were happy.
Lost themselves, were wounded.

But with each step, each healing scar,
Their hearts shined brighter, lighting up the way ahead.
Eventually, lucky enough, in darkness,
They found unique and vital essence, each of their own.

Seeing them, heart flutters and hands tremble.
Losing breath, she whispers:
“This is life! I knew it!”

She wants to yell:
“I’m here! I want to be with you, in light!”.
To her dismay, but a weak wheeze comes out.

…

With frozen heart, she rushed through thickets towards the light,
Sharp thorns cut shoulders, chest, and face.
Alas, the wondrous image only drifts away.
Unaware, she is lost in jungle’s depths,
where tree crowns cover sunlight.

Tripped in the dark,
She falls into a swampy pond.
Gasping in the thick mire and tears,
She rises up, reflection in the murky water.

The surface reveals a tired, worn-out face.
The sparks of fire in eyes have dwindled.
And in the place of beating heart —
A hole, darker than the pond’s abyss.

Dismayed, she is abandoned by the remains of life.
Despaired and strangled by the indifference’s noose
She forgot herself for one last time,
Submerging silently into the water’s shadow.

…

Opening eyes, she’s blinded
By rays of winter midday sun.
Feeling her body in terror’s joy,
She finds in place a young, warm, trembling heart.

Looking out the window, she sees
Life’s doors wide open, since long ago
Raising her eyes to clear and cloudless sky,
She whispers fervently:

“Here’s another chance—
I won’t let it pass by.”

Translated on 01.09.23 with partial assistance of ChatGPT-4, OpenAI, version as of August 4 2023.